Well, it was inevitable. I found someone besides myself to pity. And a distraction. My sister is the sole breadwinner in a single income household. Her husband has been unable (for one reason or another) to work steadily for a majority of their relationship. They have no money and an almost-four year old daughter. and its christmas. And I'm stuck between wanting to offer to just flat-out give her money and knowing that would piss her off for eternity. Also, I still don't make all that much to begin with :-p
But, as horrible as this is, being able to focus on someone else's sucky life has been a welcome distraction for me. Advent is supposed to be about learning patience, to learn to wait. I am trying.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Part One
The question becomes- what is his plan? This blog is going to be part book study of Max Lucado's Cure for the Common Life, part bible study, and part thinking spot so that I can figure out how my life got stuck in neutral and where to go from here. This isn't about making a change in one facet of my life- its about improving my life as a whole- professionally, financially, romantically, and emotionally.
I have recently realized how unhappy I am. I graduated from college 2 years ago and while I knew I wasn't happy, it was because of something I didn't have- not something that I did. Within the past month, I realized that I was unhappy in my job because I didn't like it. I don't think I'm doing anything real and I don't feel I'm using my potential. This has coincided with my job becoming harder and more taxing. So I'm setting out again for the job market. This time, I am looking closer to home as I've recognized how difficult the market is elsewhere. I'm also thinking about if I wouldn't rather be happier doing something for humanity for a while. I've felt unused recently, that no one has a need for me. Sort of like eeyore. So I'm thinking about teach for america or other organizations where I could simply abandon life for a period, work at something challenging, and hopefully find my place in this world. I don't feel challenged at work. Which is hard because my work is still taxing me. Its not difficult, its just that there is so much of it that I get overwhelmed and angry. Thus leading to unhappiness. I am one of those people. Those sad people who drive a long way to work, are sad at work, drive a long way home and after eating dinner and killing time, go to bed only to do it again the next day. This unhappiness is negatively affecting other areas of my life, but that will be another post entirely. So, right now- I am looking for a change. A Change for the better. I do hope it comes soon. I'm starting to worry a bit about how unhappy I am and how long I've been this way.
I have recently realized how unhappy I am. I graduated from college 2 years ago and while I knew I wasn't happy, it was because of something I didn't have- not something that I did. Within the past month, I realized that I was unhappy in my job because I didn't like it. I don't think I'm doing anything real and I don't feel I'm using my potential. This has coincided with my job becoming harder and more taxing. So I'm setting out again for the job market. This time, I am looking closer to home as I've recognized how difficult the market is elsewhere. I'm also thinking about if I wouldn't rather be happier doing something for humanity for a while. I've felt unused recently, that no one has a need for me. Sort of like eeyore. So I'm thinking about teach for america or other organizations where I could simply abandon life for a period, work at something challenging, and hopefully find my place in this world. I don't feel challenged at work. Which is hard because my work is still taxing me. Its not difficult, its just that there is so much of it that I get overwhelmed and angry. Thus leading to unhappiness. I am one of those people. Those sad people who drive a long way to work, are sad at work, drive a long way home and after eating dinner and killing time, go to bed only to do it again the next day. This unhappiness is negatively affecting other areas of my life, but that will be another post entirely. So, right now- I am looking for a change. A Change for the better. I do hope it comes soon. I'm starting to worry a bit about how unhappy I am and how long I've been this way.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)